Faithfulness.

After four years of university education, one semester studying abroad, three mission trips, a little heartbreak, and a whole lot of breakthrough, I’m supposed to have a plan. I’m supposed to get a full-time job, start this next phase of life, and know who I want to be. Yet here I am, just a few short weeks from graduation, still not sure what direction God is calling me in.

Last week, I sat on my bedroom floor with a mug of black coffee in my hands and a moleskin journal in my lap. I thanked God because, even in the midst of all my unknown, I know Him. I know He is faithful.

As I sat on my favorite rug and savored my coffee, I began to ask myself, “What does God’s faithfulness look like?” I realized a few sips into my coffee that my expectations of God's faithfulness are very specific and potentially restricting.

When I think of God being faithful as I navigate this changing season, I tend to think of Him giving me what I want. I often think that if God is faithful, then He’ll provide me with a perfect, full-time job in the next three to four months. He’ll answer my prayers by calling me into a safe and stable position that makes sense to everyone around me. But if this is my image of God’s faithfulness, what does that mean He’s being faithful to? My expectations of God’s faithfulness reflected the belief that God is first and foremost faithful to my comfort zone.

For any of us who know Jesus intimately, we know this does not sound like Him. Countless times throughout Scripture God calls His beloved out of their comfort zone and into real relationship with Him. So, I began to reorient my expectations of God’s faithfulness.

What if instead of being faithful to my comfort zone, God isfaithful to my dreams? What if God is faithful to shaping my passions? What if God is faithful to strengthening my relationships?

If God is faithful tomore than just my comfort zone, myfuture might look different than I’ve been expecting it to.

As my perspective of God’s faithfulness began to change, I felt a stronger sense of freedom. If God is faithful to loving me unconditionally and with an unending amount of grace, then He cannot prioritize my comfort zone over my dreams, passions, and relationships; and neither should I.

How we pray informs what we believe and vice versa. So, rather than praying for God to keep me comfortable, I want to pray that God keeps me close. I know the best way to stay close to Jesus is to remain dependent on Him, and why would I need to depend on God if I’m already cozy in my comfort zone? Instead of praying for God to give me a clear vision of my future, I began praying that He would plant dreams, tend to my passions, and grow my relationships.

I don’t want to miss what God has for me. Maybe God’s faithfulness will look like finding a full-time job soon after graduation with a cute little apartment to myself. Or, maybe it will look like camping out in a friend's basement and working odd jobs. Whatever the case, I’ll be looking for His faithfulness to manifest in unexpected, unassuming places. I’ll be looking for His faithfulness outside of my comfort zone.

words and photo by Amy Block