Dreaming of Motherhood.

I've been dreaming of motherhood lately.I spent a morning at my aunt and uncle's new house in the country this summer, watching their little kids scamper around the massive lawn under old trees, windows tossed open, the hot Illinois breeze rustling in chorus with the complete chaos of little voices. Another night recently, I was watching a Shakespeare performance in the park while kids stared with eyes glazed at a performance of The Tempest, chanting Caliban's song at intermission, utterly embracing something they could barely understand. I thought, I will be the parent that brings my children to Shakespeare plays and reads books to them before bed. Imagine having little humans that you could constantly fascinate with beauty. I am stunned by the possibility of such a thing; stunned that moments I see in passing like a dream or the rainbow's end could be mine someday.At the moment, though, I'm sitting in the middle of the lawn on my campus, outside the building I spend hours in studying and working for my major. The majority of my current life is taken up by homework and classes at a college almost entirely preoccupied with climbing the career ladder. And guys, it's not cheap, either.And yet I've dreamed of just being a mom since I was a little girl.Kailin, what are you doing?I think when people hear that I want to be a mom and stay home with my kids, they think I'm a little crazy for chasing a degree at a prestigious college. I think I'm a little crazy for it.Ladies, right now a lot of you are probably similarly situated, working for a career. You have dreams, big ones. You are studying hard. You are reaching out to people, actively seeking out that opportunity to change the world. I'm doing the same thing. I think it's so exciting.But I'm here to say one thing:Don't be afraid to dream of being a mom.Just because you are swept up in the busy current of society's pursuit of the career does not mean you can't ever be a mom. It also doesn't mean if you do want to be a mom you are wasting your time at college. Where you are is where God has you. He has you in pursuit of something He has placed on your heart, and that is honorable. But God's myriad of dazzling and challenging plans for your life does not limit you to that one pursuit. Your life has space for so many incredible ways of glorifying God. You might not understand all the puzzle pieces right now, but that's ok because you don't have to. As long as you are chasing down greater love for God, there is not a minute of your life He can't use for His glory.Being a mom is not something all my friends are talking about. It's not a common subject so much as a concept to be debated or something to throw intellectual ideas at. In some of your circles, it might even be frowned upon. Reality is, motherhood is your own thing to grapple with and make decisions about.But know that you are a treasure chest of life waiting to be shared. Every moment of growth, learning, and struggles can be used as a mom. Don't be afraid to dream of being a mother because you think it will waste what you are doing right now. It won't. You aren't wasting your time, no matter which direction God takes you.I really don't know anything about being a mom. All I know right now is that twinge of longing in my heart when I watch the little ones around me and the slow process of learning to trust God. I am praying it will be worth it even as I know it will.So, don't be afraid to dream big. Let your heart long, because I have a feeling that few things are more awe-inspiring than the blessing of raising your little humans to love God and His goodness, truth, and beauty.words by Kailin Richardson and photo by Arianna Taralson