Draw Near.

As school starts up again and the business of routine kicks in once again, I find myself feeling distant. Distant from my family,My friends, And my Lord.It’s so easy to get caught up in making pretty “to do” lists and planning my busy life away, to fill every spare moment of what little down time I have with work, studying, or something fun. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and purpose. I push and push away any time for silence or reflection as I try to “live my best life” like everyone tells you to. As I go and go, I’ve begun to fear down time. I fear sitting alone with God because I know there’s so much I have been neglecting. I don’t fear Him, but I fear what He will point out in me. I’m afraid that being in His perfect presence will show me how far from perfection I am. I'm afraid that my business that leaves me feeling so accomplished won't matter there. I’m afraid that I’m too far gone, that all the time I’ve wasted busying myself with unnecessary things has drawn me further and further from Him. I fear that He won’t want me back. This week it’s become clear how I need to change my meticulously planned routine. I can't pour myself into every area of life 100% without feeling exhausted. I need to get back to square one, to connect again with my heavenly Father. I need to make time for sitting alone with God, without any distractions. As this is brought to mind time and time again, I sense Him in my spirit whispering for me to “draw near.”Draw near.He’s not calling me to draw near because He’s angry and needs to reprimand me or to scold me because I’ve done something wrong. He calls me gently and persists patiently because He knows that His arms are the safest place for me to be. He knows that drawing near is the only way to refresh my soul. He knows the best way for me. He knows that as I find closeness with Him, I will find closeness with those I love. He knows that as He pours His grace and mercy into me, I will be a much more capable friend, student, and disciple. He is my best life. So, today, I’m going to face my fear. Today, I want to draw near to the one who gives me life in abundance, whatever it takes. I’m afraid of what I might find in me, but I’m confident in His grace. words by Breanna Maier and photo by Kailin Richardson