But what if I'm mostly Martha?

You know that story found in Luke 10 about Jesus coming over to hang out with these two sisters?You mean Mary and Martha?Yep, that’s the one. Now follow along with me for a bit.In Luke 10:38-42 we read about this sisterly pair that open up their home for Jesus and his disciples. Mary and Martha are clearly two different sides of the same coin—where Martha welcomes Jesus in and proceeds to cook, clean, and get everything ready for her guests, Mary simply sits at Jesus’ feet and listens to what he has to say.It’s evident that we’re supposed to pick a side, right? Mary or Martha, which one responded to Jesus’ presence the correct way? Which is the one we should emulate ourselves?Martha, for sure! She was the sister getting everything ready, cooking, cleaning, baking a seven-layer cake, probably coming up with games for the disciples to play—Martha was busy doing things for Jesus, Mary was just being lazy and sitting at his feet. Listening. Taking in what he had to say. Basking in his presence.Well, when you put it that way …Here’s what Luke tells us: “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her’” (Luke 10:40-42).“You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one,” these are the words that ring in my ears when I read this story.Rushing around.Trying to do a million things at once.Becoming too busy to really listen to the people in front of you.Trying so hard to make everything perfect that you miss the experience for what it is.That sounds a lot like my life. That sounds a lot like me. And that makes me sad.As an enneagram type 2 I’m known as the helper, the person who makes sure everyone else is taken care of before I even think about my own needs. I want to believe this is because I’m servant-hearted, but sometimes I think the need to do, do, and do some more for others often stems from something notably less attractive: pride. Pride in the fact that I’m putting others first. Pride that I can do it all by myself. Pride that I’m looking after the needs of others and don’t have to attend to that pesky other thing: my own heart.But this prideful attitude, this need to fulfill an assumed duty, is exactly what Jesus warns Martha about. “… few things are needed—or indeed only one.” That one thing being to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to what he has to say.I’m not trying to say taking care of others is bad, I love making people feel welcome by preparing a meal, cleaning up my apartment, putting on some good music, and just serving them in general, but if we do all that in the absence of being present with them and enjoying their company, then we’ve missed the point.Because Jesus shows up in our lives every day. Maybe not in the literal sense, but definitely in the people he’s placed there.Your friend. Neighbor. Coworker. Guy across the hall. Woman walking her dog. Family member you love but don’t always like. Jesus is there, but how are we treating him?I think one of my biggest fears in this life is missing out on knowing Jesus in favor of spending time doing things to please him. I’m a natural do-er, but I need to first become a natural at simply taking it all in.The dishes, the coffee, the immaculately put together living room, they can all wait. What won’t wait?—a Sunday with your favorite boy, your brothers living in the same city as you, your best friends being a two-minute walk away, Jesus hanging out at your house. Those things will not stay in my grasp for long, but while I have them here in my hand will I breathe deep, experiencing them with a peaceful joy like Mary, or, like Martha, will I frantically try to make these moments perfect, only to realize I missed them when they’re gone?I want to be Mary. I want to be here, sitting at Jesus’ feet, laughing at his next good joke. I want this Martha to turn into a Mary, one deep breath, dirty dish, and long life chat at a time.words by Kaylyn Deiter and photo by Sarah Mohan