Fighting Imposter Syndrome.

I’ve been in my first long-term ‘adult’ job for about a year, and each day since I’ve started, I have had a pestering fear of underperforming, not meeting expectations, and disappointing my team.

It’s a nagging voice in my head, whispering lies that I’m not good enough — not creative enough, not experienced enough, not old enough, not accomplished enough, not assertive enough. I’m convinced that one day someone will realize they made a mistake in hiring me. Fears and insecurities swirl in my head, telling me my co-workers likely gossip about how I’m inadequate and how I don’t fit in. It’s exhausting.

Imposter Syndrome — have you felt it?

A 2018 Pyschology Today article defines Imposter Syndrome as "a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.” 

When I first learned about Imposter Syndrome, I let out a sigh of relief — it’s not just me! But then I felt heartbroken — this feeling of inadequacy is so pervasive that it’s now a widely-known psychological phenomenon.

This deep insecurity is an inverse reaction to a beautiful and good desire — to be valuable — that God inherently placed in all of us, and we miss out on loving others well if we spend our energy trying to prove our own value to ourselves.

Let me explain.

God tells us in Ephesians 2:10 that we are masterpieces created for a good purpose that has been ingrained in us since before we were born. If you’ve stepped foot in any church or Hobby Lobby, you’ve likely heard this scripture and, like me, are deaf to it.

But let’s consider the implications of this verse.

We are created for a purpose. We are purpose-driven people. We are created to know and believe that we offer value to this world, that our presence matters. But instead of graciously receiving this inherent gift from God, we look for ways to prove it to ourselves. God telling me that I have value is not enough. I need my boss, spouse, parent to tell me I am valuable.

We are created with a purpose, but our world is driven byachievement and success.

That’s where it’s made clear yet again that our God’sKingdom is indeed upside down compared to this world. Our brains are hard-wiredfor heaven, and sometimes things just don’t translate while we’re inundated inbrokenness.

This Ephesians 2:10 purpose does not need to be proven or earned — quite the opposite. It was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us. The blood of Christ redeems me. My identity as a beloved child of God makes me valuable, no questions asked.

Your identity as a beloved child of God makes you valuable.

1 Corinthians 8:1 tells us knowledge puffs up, butlove builds up. If anyone imagines that he knowssomething, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyoneloves God, he is known by God.

I think we can replace knowledgefor success and come to the sameconclusion. If I think of myself only in terms of success, I do not understandmy own depravity. When I am trying to grow my own view of myself, my view of Godshrinks, and, consequently, so does my love for Him.

How do I find freedom from the Imposter Syndrome? Belief, to the depths of my core, that my value cannot be earned and rests solely in my identity as a beloved child of God. With this freedom, I can think of myself less and others more, which allows me to live out my purpose — to love God, and to love others as He loves me.

If the Imposter Syndrome is as pervasive as psychologistsbelieve, I bet others in my office are afflicted, too. Rather than spending myenergy climbing a corporate ladder, I can focus on helping them find freedomfrom the Imposter Syndrome, too.

What if I point out the goodness God has placed in mycoworkers instead of worrying about myself? What if I encourage and praise the waysthey offer value, fighting the harsh lies they likely whisper to themselves?

My purpose in this life is not to ensure others view me asvaluable, but to help them see their own value, to love them well.

I choose to not live like an imposter but to live in the freedomthat comes from my secure identity as beloved. Instead, I will use that energyto help others recognize their value and rest in the freedom of being inherentlyknown and loved and good enough.

Success puffs up. Love builds up.

words by Emily Patrick and photo by Emma Tally