Go First.

Vulnerability.It’s a long word and an important idea. Two women shared some wise words on the topic this past week that really made me asses what vulnerability is and how necessary it is. They defined vulnerability as simply going first and being real. It doesn’t mean baring your entire soul for everyone to see. It’s being honest about your struggles and victories. It bares parts of your story wisely to encourage others to do the same. That definition may sound scary and difficult, but it is so necessary for relationships to grow. Sometimes there are things our hearts want to say, but we think our way out of actually saying them. We worry no one will get it or that we will be judged. There are a lot of fears associated with vulnerability. These fears scare us out of taking a chance at a deeper connection.Vulnerability is always a risk. You could be open and real and honest, and the person you’re sharing with could tell your stories to someone who doesn’t need to know. They could betray your trust. They could not understand your situation, or, worse, not care. Those are all very real possibilities.But that’s not an excuse not to do it. Vulnerability creates the atmosphere of acceptance and love. It shows that we’re in a safe place. Going first shows that you are ready and willing to be there for anyone else, as you’re hoping they’ll be there for you. While there is the possibility of the person you’re being vulnerable with breaking your trust, my experience is that vulnerability begets vulnerability. Going first allows others to follow. It invites others to open up as well. There are some things we need to tell people, but we never feel that it’s the right moment. Being vulnerable creates that moment so you can say what you need to, but it also creates that moment for others. In that sharing of struggles and stories, we grow closer to each other, and we can really encourage each other in meaningful ways. It’s a risk, but I believe it’s one worth taking, because we are called to live risky lives.Everything about how we are to love is a risk. It takes work and sacrifice and doesn’t ask for anything in return. If there’s no risk, there’s no love. Vulnerability is similar; it’s a chance we need to take to begin to walk through life’s struggles together. It’s a tool that allows us to know each other more deeply, to be able to love more effectively. Someone needs to go first, so why not you?words by Breanna Maier and photo by Sarah Mohan