Whispers Within.

Recently I have been struggling to see God in this season of life. There are some days that are so rocky I tell myself that God can’t possibly still be moving in me. There are some days where I shake my fists and feel like I’m seeking out God far more than He’s seeking me. I tend to forget how badly I once wanted to be in this very season of life and the mountains God moved for me to get here.About two weeks ago, I found myself questioning whether this season was even worth it. I was tired of feeling like I just wasn’t enough. I felt like I was doing all I could to get the attention of God, and He just seemed to be unconcerned with my situation. I felt like maybe God was picking favorites and I didn't make the list. When I go on social media, I see friends and family members who are getting engaged, or having sweet babies, or working jobs that they love, or are traveling the world, or who are just in a season of life that looks way better than the one I’m in currently. Social media can be deceptive like that, and I tend to forget that. I often put the blame on God during this stressful season instead of putting it where it is deserved.Two weeks ago, I had had enough of waiting to see God work in my life, and I decided to make it my personal mission to find Him in every situation. Let me tell you something, when you look up from your phone, put away the things that are taking up the most space in your brain, and just live real life with your eyes wide open for a few moments, you find God where you least expect it. Instead of wishing to be in another season of life, I decided to find God in the season I am in right now and praise Him for where my feet are planted. This idea of putting my stressors second and God at the forefront was revolutionary (especially to me).I found God in the spaces and places where I least expected Him. Sometimes, when you decide to thank God for the current season of life and praise Him for the little everyday moments, He speaks to you in whispers rather than shouts. You can't hear those whispers amidst anger. You can't hear those whispers amidst the lies you've forced yourself to believe time and time again. You can't hear those whispers unless you are committed to listening, even when it gets tough. When you quiet yourself and listen instead of pointing fingers or complaining about the soil beneath you, God speaks.I was expecting God to shout my name and work miracles before my eyes. I was expecting these crazy changes to happen in the middle of my anger within this season. It took me quite some time to realize that sometimes God is waiting for me to be His hands and feet rather than wishing my hands and feet were elsewhere. He’s asking me to see people (even the difficult ones), meet them right where they’re at, and to love them with the kind of love I continue to seek so desperately. It's in these moments of loving others that I am reminded that this season has such immense purpose, and I'm allowed to grow within it.words by Maddie Watson and photo by Sarah Mohan