You Are Capable.

Recently I've learned a lot about my self-worth. It's not something I liked to think about before, mostly because I had such a low esteem and terrible self-image. Partly this is from a perfectionism that plagued me from childhood. But mostly it's because I never really understood my worth in God and really truly took it to heart.I grew up in a family (partly immigrant/first generation) in which the American Dream idea was often talked about. But from a young age, I was confused. My mother who had come from a war-ravaged country held a lot of fear and projected that onto raising me. From an early age I learned to be afraid of things. To try hard and succeed, but not to succeed too much. To become a lawyer, but not to want to become an International Criminal Tribunal attorney. To do good for the world through wealth and philanthropy, not through risking my life in dangerous situations for contested causes. I was always the child with the "dangerous" ambitions. The one whose future always hung in suspense. When I went away to Scotland for the semester, I remember my mother warning me not to go too close to the cliffs when I went hiking. Though...this was actually a valid fear because a) I yearn for adventure, b) Scotland has some dodgy cliffs, and I love to hike, and c) Californian winter boots are not the best things to go hiking in on tufts of long grass descending to the ocean far below.Still, these fears always lived in a place buried very deep in my mind. I constantly questioned every move, every commitment, every decision I made. This fear caused me to be so insecure in my own independent decision-making that I second-guessed literally everything. I thought I was incapable of coming to the right conclusion. Increasingly my confidence lowered as did my self-worth. I felt completely unable to do what I really wanted to do: human rights work and play in the big leagues (ICC).But then God showed me, with the support of my tight-knit group of believers, that I am so so worthy in his eyes. Scripture highlights that as sons and daughters, we are charged by the authority of God to go forth with our convictions, and through him we are made capable. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us that we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do. He has already cleared the path for us to do the incredible things we have on our hearts. Psalms 8 reminds us that God has given us dominion over the works of our hands and has put all things at our feet. Some people call this the Genesis charge, to create and take care of the things God has convicted us with. Note that this capability does not come from us, but our competence comes from God (2 Corinthians 3:5).How do you feel when you are not following what's on your heart? Disempowered? Illegitimate? Purposeless? Weak?The Bible is honeycombed with God giving strength to the weak (Psalm 119, Isaiah 40, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, etc.). We can all feel broken. It's only natural. But in our weakness God says that his grace is sufficient for us. His power is made perfect in our weakness. Because in our weaknesses, we can rest in Christ's power, as Paul says. Because it is not through us that we are capable but through Christ Jesus and his perfection (and thank God for that...). He gives purpose to the purposeless, calls us his legitimate sons and daughters, empowers us in his glory.This is not a self-help piece. These are the actual messages of God in context. He calls us to live up to the perfection that is Jesus Christ. Though we will never be perfect (and he knows that), we have the purpose to glorify him through our lives doing whatever it is we dream and care to do.words by Anashe Barton and photo by Leah Van Otterloo