Your Twenties Are Yours.

I turned twenty last month and it felt like turning a page. Firstly, I can finally sing "Twenty-Somethings" by Judah & the Lion without feeling like a fraud, but that's secondary to everything else. Something about being twenty and now a junior in college seems like a pretty big jump. I'm (accidentally) graduating a semester early, and I feel like I'm both ahead and behind at the same time. There's just so much happening...I'm trying not to think about it too much, but how can I not think about being thrown into "the real world" in a year and a half? There's so many expectations and benchmarks to hit in your twenties, and I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for any of them. If I stop to think about our near (and getting nearer) futures, thoughts of internships, jobs, graduations, weddings, and moves fill my head. It's crazy how many changes are happening in our lives right now and all the decisions that are getting closer and closer. Not long from now I'll be an adult in the real world, and there's so many small things I don't have figured out yet.One thing I've realized is that a lot of the pressures we feel in our twenties (yeah, I know, I've only been twenty for a month, but I feel it, too!) come from ourselves. We set up expectations in our heads of what our lives will look like, and when we don't hit the mark we feel like we've failed. Whether it's benchmarks in our relationships (I know y'all are seeing proposals and weddings on your Instagram feeds as often as I am), career goals, financial stability, or just the general feeling of "I have my life together," we're probably not going to hit our ideal mark in the time that we'd like. By the way, I'm getting more and more convinced that this whole "having your life together" thing doesn't actually exist, whether you're 25 or 45. I'm pretty sure everyone's faking it, but maybe that's just me.The thing is, we're all on different timelines, and we're all going to accomplish these things in different orders than our friends and peers and at different times in our lives than we'd like to. Sister, you can plan your life as much as you want, but I can guarantee you it's not going to turn out exactly how you want it to. The truth is, we aren't as in control of our lives as we'd like to think. Jesus has a perfect plan for each of us, and he's thought of everything in advance. Maybe you're not getting married at the same time as your friends, or maybe you feel behind career or financial-wise. You are going to do those things in the perfect timing for you, and even if that's before or after your friends, that is ok.I think we could all stand to practice encouraging our friends and peers in their accomplishments selflessly. Celebrate your friends and all that the Lord is doing in their lives! The more you open your heart to celebration for others, the less you will feel burdened by comparison and expectation. Our twenties shouldn't be filled with fear of failure and disappointment. Everyone's twenties will look different. Move across the country, get married, graduate, start a new job in your college town, get a dog, start your own business—do whatever it is that he has called you to do in this time, and stop comparing your timeline to your peers'. Your twenties are yours, and they don't have to look like anyone else's.words by Josie Bivens and photo by Sara Beth Pritchard