One Year Later.
It’s that time again, the one of robes, diplomas, and square-topped hats (side note: who thought that was a good idea?).Graduation season is upon us, and with it come a bevy of emotions, some good—a sense of accomplishment, purpose, and a feeling of hope—while others are more bittersweet—the closing of a chapter, having to say goodbye, and, let’s face it, fear of a future that for some is yet unknown.A year ago I was one of those wide-eyed graduates in a square hat and black robe, all my achievements, memories, and hours typing papers resting between the binding of my newly printed diploma. I had a vague idea of where I would be after graduation, but I honestly wasn’t prepared for all that life would bring in the 365 days after I walked across that stage (praying the whole time that I wouldn’t trip in my heels).So while every other article I read this month is touting advice for the soon-to-be graduates, I thought I’d share one from the other side of the stage, the perspective of the girl sitting in the audience watching her friends do what she did just a year ago. I still don’t know a whole lot (probably less than I thought I did on that Saturday in May), but I’ve been there, and I want to look back on what these last 12 months of my life hold, for you, but also for me, looking out and wondering what was on the other side of all the pomp and circumstance.
Transitions are uncomfortable.
Probably not a newsflash to you, but this took me by surprise more than I care to admit. I’m a girl who loves a good routine, down to the time I wake up every morning and the perfume I wear on certain days of the week (that’s not weird … right?). So the transition from college life to working full-time wasn’t always an easy, or comfortable one.Getting up at 6 a.m. every day? Like, every day? No breaks in the middle of the afternoon to run or catch a quick episode of Netflix? No homework is nice, but this work thing is…work!And what about the days, weeks, and sometimes months before you find that full-time job? What about the in between when no routine is your new routine? Uncomfortable, again.Basically, I wish I could have known what the constant structure of class, homework, and extracurricular activities could not have prepared me for: that feeling of being unmoored. Life after graduation was so different from the previous 19 years of school, oftentimes in the most basic ways. But maybe like training wheels that’s what the structure of school was there for, to prepare us for a life without those guardrails, even if at first we might wobble.
Don’t force it.
That job you think you need. The apartment you’re sure you’re going to live in. That guy you’re obviously meant to date. Don’t force life to happen the way you think it needs to.I’m not saying don’t play an active role in your life, that’s not it at all, but don’t try so hard to exert your own will that you forget that God is at work in the midst of all your strategizing.God’s plan is so much better than the one I concocted in my head, even as I’ve had to realize that time and time again. Don’t force your life to happen the way you think it should. Instead give it to the One whose plans are so much greater.
Say hello, not goodbye.
One of the things I was most worried about post-graduation was losing touch with my best friends. Lucky for me, three out of the four of my closest friends ended up living in working in the same city as me (two I even get to share an apartment with), but that might not be the case for you.One of the friends I’d known since freshman year moved to Haiti to teach kindergarteners. My boyfriend lives three hours away. My point is, proximity doesn’t make relationships, intentionality does.All that said, don’t be afraid to make new friends or reconnect with old ones. I used to think if I made new friends I would be “replacing” my old ones. It felt disloyal, so I kept people at arm’s length. After slowly but surely realizing God just doesn’t design relationships that way (who would have thought?), I was able to let more people in, and I’m so much better for it.
Find time to rest.
It’s easy to think that after all those classes are done, papers written, and projects completed you’ll have an infinite amount of time to relax. I wish it was that simple. Unfortunately with life, kind of like with houses, we seem to fill up the empty places with more stuff.So something I’ve been working on is resting well, like the actually putting the phone down, not checking my work emails kind of resting. It’s easy to get consumed by work, especially when you have access to it whenever and wherever you want. I’ve had to set boundaries, and I’ve had to work to not feel guilty for sticking to them.
Don’t give up your passion.
This is pretty self-explanatory, but even if your 9 to 5 isn’t your “dream job” quite yet, you don’t have to give up what you love, even if you’re not getting paid for it.I love to write, and Little City has given me an outlet to do just that every month. It’s worth it to me, for this creative soul that still dreams of things far bigger. But for now this is enough. Do something, make something, be something that gives you that “enough.”I’ve undoubtedly learned a lot more in the year since I graduated than these five bullet points can illustrate—from late night chats and baking mishaps to being more intentional about spending time with God and others—but at its core, life after graduation is still life. It’s hard. It’s beautiful. It’s sad and it’s wonderful. It’s life. Plain and simple, and there’s always something to be learned from this thing we call living.words and photo by Kaylyn Deiter