Love Your Enemy.

In Oliver Twist Charles Dickens wrote, "Some people's are no one's enemies but themselves." Thinking about the past few months abroad, I've learned this and so much more. More often than not, I've been my own enemy in how I terribly I treated myself. But I've also hurt myself by fabricating "enemies" in other people. When you're in a foreign country and you know no one, you're forced to meet lots of new people. Along the journey, I've made so many great friends. And I've also made not so great friends.Honestly, I've never liked harboring resentment towards anybody. It's not a nice feeling in your stomach, disliking someone. It sours everything--your mood, your day, your relationship with other people. For the longest time, I was confused because I felt that one of my new friends had something against me, for whatever unknown reason. I thought I had done something to make her hate me. Time after time, I felt like she was giving me the cold-shoulder, treating me unfairly, and constantly trying to compete with me. I was struggling badly and upset over how upset this was making me. Things usually don't affect me so easily!Perhaps, I thought, there were some exceptions for who you could love. But just when I was coming to this conclusion, God stepped in the way and showed me how wrong I was. In some absurd way, which is usually how things go in my life, he reminded me of what it means to be a Christian. Jesus never said love your neighbor except for the one who bothers you. And he certainly didn't say it's ok for us to hate our enemies back. Jesus told us to love our neighbor and our enemy. No if's, and's or but's. But still, I couldn't rationalize why I had to love this person. And then, Jesus opened the door for me to see this world through his eyes.People are hurting all over the place. People are hurting for reasons we can't even imagine, ways we cannot measure. And for me to judge someone because of how I see a fraction of their reaction is complete and utter selfishness.

You're not the only one in pain. I'm not the only one in pain.

What I once saw as an unloving, cold person, I now see as a very broken, and indeed very loving person who desperately needs Jesus, just like myself. Jesus didn't suggest we love our neighbors and our enemies. He commanded us to. And he didn't without reason. It's because we, as examples of Christ in our lives, have to be the light for others. We need to show them how to love by loving them. And in the process, God breaks us down and teaches us so much about his mercy and love.The more I understand God's abounding love, the more I am ashamed of my reactions and harboring any resentment out of pity or justice for myself. Now, I see that this is the ultimate pinnacle of pride--when you can justify hatred towards another out of some retribution for yourself.Now I'm asking for forgiveness and for God to soften my heart towards all those I once thought my enemies. God says he will defeat our enemies (Deuteronomy 28). What if he does so by changing the relationship between us and them from foe to friend? I'm not saying we have to embrace people who are actively hurting us--I'm saying that God wants us to forgive and to pray for them. Jesus tells us that if we don't forgive, then how can we expect him to forgive us? (Matthew 6:15)This entire experience has been so good for my soul, and as I prepare to leave Scotland for the next adventure, I will continue to pray that God softens my heart, helps me forgive, and treat those around me with all the love I can. Perhaps I can stop being my own enemy by making enemies with other people.And so as a public service announcement, to all of you, and some of you in particular: I forgive you and I apologize for my hardened heart. I pray that God blesses you and helps you in whatever you're going through.words and photo by Anashe Barton