Wholly Satisfied.

Nearly five years ago I sat in a car with my now-best friend outside of a house full of friends and acquaintances clad in Halloween costumes. We had shown up to a party with numerous others from a campus ministry we were part of, yet during the drive we had dove deep into conversation about the Holy Spirit and the goodness of God and the way He had recently begun a work of complete transformation in our lives. It was absolutely intoxicating (to say the least) to reflect on the heart of God and to find such community and understanding between just the two of us – it was so intoxicating, in fact, that we sat in the car outside of the house for probably two hours, talking until both of us decided that our friends inside were probably wondering where we were.Reluctantly, we both opened the car doors and stepped out of an utterly satisfying and mystifyingly significant moment in our friendship and our walks with the Lord. In that moment of leaving the car, I was strangely wrecked by the seeming dissatisfaction of anything apart from being known by God and knowing Him more. I wanted to savor and hold onto and dive ever-deeper into that conversation that helped to shape my newly transformed heart and mind.I think there’s a tendency for us as believers to feel that we always have to be satisfied with every moment we experience, with every activity, with every circumstance. And I believe that’s a fallacy. If I’m being honest, while the Halloween party that my friend and I entered into that night was full of great fun, memories, and fellowship, it paled in comparison to our conversation in the car. I wanted to grab my things and hop back into the passenger seat and dig a little deeper into the truths we had been in the process of unravelling. I wanted to feel all over again the thick, holy weight of His Presence settling like dew in the car.In the Psalms, we read these words:“Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted within them. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul and the hungry soul he fills with good things” (Ps. 107:4-9, ESV).This Psalm was written by David as a response to God’s deliverance, His providence, and the satisfaction one finds in Him in the midst of trial, famine, and anguish. We see that, for David, the goodness of God far outweighed and overshadowed his present circumstances, so much so that it’s almost mind-boggling to think about. The only plausible conclusion is that David’s satisfaction was never even found in his circumstances, his surroundings, or his possessions to begin with. In fact, I believe that all of those things vastly paled in comparison to the presence of his heavenly Father.Whether your own circumstances or trials are comparable to David’s or not, you need to know that it’s okay to not be satisfied in these things. It’s okay because your satisfaction was never meant to be found in them anyway. Only He is good and only He truly and ceaselessly satisfies. We have an eternal home and glory prepared for us where we will forever be in the Presence of a perfect, good, and loving Father and Creator. When we know this and revel in that truth, everything else will pale in comparison. Everything else should pale in comparison. Our spirits will groan to be in His midst. But for the here and now, let your satisfaction in Him be the precedent for each day. Let it carry you through the trial, the uncertainty, the mundane. And even let it carry you through the joy and the laughter. Let His presence nourish you and strengthen you to endure.“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips” (Psalm 63: 1-5).words by Rachel Miller and photo by Sarah Mohan